Divas Dishing The Dirt

3 friends. 3 very different people. All with opinions.

Friday, February 17, 2006
Ladies! You've got to step up your game!

Diva's aren't being very diva-ish. Where's the FABULOUSNESS? Where's the mystery? Where's the captivating imagery? Well here it is I say, HERE!

I used my absolute best divalishiousness yesterday afternoon in the best possible scenario I could. I got pulled over. DUN DUN DUH!! Oh yes.

The officer was driving the opposite direction from me as I flew home after paying $325. to have my car fixed. I had just picked it up at the mechanics. Anyhow I didn't realize that he was trying to get me, so I continued to drive and being that I was right outside my neighborhood, I turned in. WELL here comes Jim-Bob FLYIN' up behind me like some sort of criminal. I pull over. I'm IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD. EVERYBODY AND THEIR DOG DRIVES BY LOOKING AT ME. F*ck. He walks up and here's how it went:

Jim-Bob: Ma'am didn't you see me trying to pull you over?
Me: No! I didn't know you were trying to get me! (in my meekest voice)
Jim-Bob: Well I flashed my lights as soon as you drove by.
Me: I'm sorry I didn't know.
Jim-Bob: Do you realize you were going 61 in a 45 zone?
Me: OH MY GOD! I WAS! I'M SO SORRY! (in the most surprised and emphatic voice I own)
Jim-Bob: Ok. Do you have your license, insurance and registration?
Me: Yes, one second. (I dig around a bit and get all three). (Once again in my meekest/sheepish voice) I hope this is the right stuff! I've never been pulled over in South Carolina!
Jim-Bob: Ok. Give me a minute.

I sit and wait, and sit and wait. Anybody else who hadn't driven by when I first got pulled then drove by and stared. NOW they think I'm some sort of delinquent FOR SURE . My neighbors already thought we were drug dealers or something because we're about 10 years younger than all of them and they always ask us questions about "what we do" at neighborhood parties. ANYWAY here come Jim-Bob....

Jim-Bob: Ms. Bell, here you go (hands me a piece of paper). I appreciate you being honest with me, so I'll save you 4 points (not sure how this works. All I've gathered is it's some lame system they use in order to raise your car insurance) and one-hundred and eighty dollars. In the future slow down. There's two patrol cars and a motorcycle officer patrolling this area.
Me: Oh yes I noticed! ( I didn't but it sounded good) Thanks SO MUCH!! I JUST got through picking my car up from the mechanic and paying three-hundred and twenty five dollars!! I show him the receipt as proof.
Jim-Bob: Huh. Well I can see why, the way YOU DRIVE!

(ARSE HOLE!)

Me: tee hee hee. OK! Thank YOU!!!!!

**Leave as quickly as possible with out speeding!

GOD that was close! I'm SO LUCKY!

*** edit-one more thought. Right after I drove away, I thought: if I were a black, crack head looking woman, or even just a man, I SO would not have gotten out of that one.

posted by Ms. Adventures at 10:06 AM

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